3am
by whittle-street
Summary: Modern getting together AU where Delia shows up on Patsy's doorstep at 3am
1. Chapter 1

'Delia? Why are you at my doorstep at 3 in the morning…" Patsy had heard the knocking and begrudgingly dragged herself from her bed to answer the door. More out of questioning who on earth it could be than actually wanting to answer the door. She also knew that being in the bedroom next to the door, she was most likely the only one wakened by it. It was raining lightly as well which made the question of why would anyone be on her doorstep at 3 in the morning a lot more important and urgent.

'Can I... Can I come in Pats?' Patsy noticed that Delia's voice was slurring slightly and she wasn't quite standing straight. She moved out of the doorway to let Delia in and watched amused as the smaller girl slightly stumbled through the door.

'Good night Deels?' Patsy couldn't hide the laugh she'd been stifling any longer when Delia half sat / half fell onto the sofa. 'I think you need a glass of water and that wasn't an option' Patsy could see Delia was about to object but wasn't giving her the chance.

As she went through to the kitchen, trying to be careful not to wake the other girls in her flat, she pondered as to why Delia was here. At 3 o'clock in the morning after a night out, all Patsy ever wanted was a kebab and to take her heels off. Not take a 20 minute trek across London, in those said heels, for a chat. Well she was about to find out either way as she walked back to the living room but first Delia was drinking some of this water or else she probably wouldn't get much sense out of the poor girl.

'Right Deels, drink up' she handed the glass to the other girl and watched as she took quite a few gulps. After only a minute, the empty glass was handed back to Patsy as Delia seemed to be building herself up to something. Eventually Delia stopped looking at her hands and instead looked Patsy in the eye. She opened her mouth to speak but didn't seem to know what to say. Delia eventually settled for lightly flicking down Patsy's nose and giggling to herself as Patsy looked at her rather bewildered.

'Delia, it is 3 o'clock in the morning. Did you really just come round for a glass of water and to flick my nose?'. This didn't seem to help matters as Delia's giggles turned into laughter that filled the room. Patsy had always found Delia's laughter infectious though and couldn't stop herself from joining in. She quickly remembered though that she shared a flat with 4 other girls that would not appreciate being woken at this time by a sober Patsy and intoxicated Delia. 'Shhh Delia, I have flat mates! They'll all hear you halfway down the street!'

'Can we talk in your room?' It was the most sense Delia had made since she got to Patsy's and she wasn't waiting for a reply. Delia stood and grabbed Patsy's hand and lead her through to her bedroom. Patsy looked quite bewildered again as she wondered what on earth was going on to change the quite confident welsh girl into this stuttering nervous mess.

Patsy gently closed the door and joined Delia on the bed where she had already made herself comfortable. Delia grasped her hand but couldn't make eye contact as she opened and closed her mouth, trying and failing to find the right words. Patsy was beginning to worry now. She'd known herself that she'd fallen for Delia quite some time ago but still refused to admit it. But as she held her hand while on her bed, her heart rate had sped up quite significantly and was hoping the other girl couldn't tell how nervous she made her. Eventually Delia caught her eye and Patsy's breath caught in her throat. Patsy could see the tears in Delia's eyes.

'Pats… I don't know how to say it; all I know is that I need you to know. That I can't keep it in anymore. That keeping it in is too much to bare and..'

'Delia, spit it out. It's almost half past 3 and this build up is killing me' Patsy couldn't handle it anymore, she needed to know what was wrong with Delia. She'd never seen her like this before and it was beginning to scare her.

'I can't…' Delia shrunk into herself as the tears began to shed. Patsy wasn't good at comforting people but she knew how to do it. Patsy put her arm around Delia and for a while they just sat there in the darkness.

Patsy felt Delia take a deep breath in and pull away from the hug. She took Patsy's hand again and looked her in the eye. Patsy wanted to kiss her so bad in this moment but knew she couldn't. Not only would she never be brave enough to risk their friendship but she couldn't when Delia was this intoxicated, it would be like taking advantage of her.

She was interrupted from her train of thought by Delia's other hand reaching up and running through her hair. Patsy couldn't breathe and could barely think. Delia had so much love in her eyes in that moment. Once Delia's hand got to under her ear she leaned in and pressed their lips together. Patsy didn't know what to do as her mind raced but none of her thoughts made sense. Could Delia, kind caring amazing and beautiful Delia actually be kissing her right now? It was half past 3 in the morning, could this all be a vivid dream that Patsy was having?

As Patsy sat there stuck in her own thoughts, Delia pulled away sharply with a look of fear on her face. While Patsy's mind had been elsewhere, she'd completely forgotten to react to Delia.

'I'm sorry, I think I've had too much to drink tonight' Delia's words weren't even slurring now as the welsh girl seemed to be sobering up. 'I don't know what I was thinking. I'll leave and if you don't… if you don't want to see me again…' Delia didn't get the chance to finish her sentence as Patsy basically pounced on her. She crushed her lips into Delia's while wrapping her arms around her with her hands grasping her back. Because of Delia leaning away Patsy was basically on top of her as she'd leaned over to let her know that the kiss was definitely appreciated.

She didn't know how, but somehow Patsy ended up with her back on the bed with Delia pressing down on top of her. When they finally pulled apart both were breathless.

'I guess I was trying to say don't leave…' Patsy eventually mumbled out when the silence became too much.

'I was trying to tell you how much you mean to me. But there isn't a word strong enough to describe how much that is. I guess I've known for a while but I didn't want to risk losing you. But I realised tonight when I was out that I'd be having more fun if I was with you or even if I had you to come home to. You know I've always had more confidence with alcohol in me' Delia began to look unsure of herself again as she laid her heart on the line for Patsy.

Patsy wrapped Delia into a hug and whispered gently into her ear. 'Don't you ever leave me. Don't ever think I don't or won't want to see you.' Patsy dropped a soft kiss onto Delia's cheek. 'I always have and always will want you around.'

Delia relaxed in her arms and pulled away from the hug. The Delia that Patsy knew seemed to be back and she gave away one of her mischievous looks that Patsy had come to get used to since meeting her. Patsy was on her back again with Delia pressing against her but instead of getting the kiss Patsy was desperately wanting, Delia was back to her old self and was teasing Patsy. She could feel the hot breath against her lips and the smell of bourbon filled her nostrils. She decided to play Delia at her own game, she was the sober one after all, and laid back on her pillows, turning her cheek to the side.

Patsy didn't take into account that Delia never did like to be outplayed. Kisses were placed along her jaw line and down her neck. She couldn't stop the little moan that escaped her mouth, _it just felt too good._ But the second it did escape she knew she'd lost, but right now she didn't really care with Delia's lips moving to her collar bones.

As much as Patsy was enjoying this she had to remember it was 4 o'clock in the morning and she didn't want an intoxicated Delia to wake up in the morning with regret. She lifted Delia's face with a light touch under her chin and recaptured her lips. It started out desperate and quick paced but Patsy slowly died down the kisses and pulled away but couldn't help going back for a peck. Delia seemed to understand.

'Shuffle back then, I'm the drunk one so chances are I'm gonna need to pee before you do' Delia was giggling as she draped an arm over Patsy's waist and settled her head onto her chest.

Patsy got herself comfy but couldn't help herself and stole one last kiss. Once she was sure Delia was asleep she whispered 'you have no idea how happy you've made me tonight' and dropped one last kiss to her forehead. And promised to herself that she'd let her welsh beauty sleep without pestering her with kisses.

Delia hadn't been asleep but when she did eventually drift off, it was with a smile on her face, with her arms tightly around Patsy. Patsy too went to sleep with a smile on her face, happy that she'd been the one to answer the door at 3 o'clock in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Patsy woke up to Delia's head on her chest and arms wrapped around her. Delia was slightly rising and falling with every breath Patsy took. She couldn't help but feeling mesmerised by the beauty on top of her. Delia had stirred a few times during the night to pee but every time she came back and took the same position as before. That didn't stop Patsy's worrying though.

Every time Delia went to the toilet Patsy was scared she wouldn't come back or realise she'd made a mistake. While Delia slept, Patsy panicked. What if Delia woke up and regretted last night? What if she not only regretted it but blamed Patsy for taking advantage of her being drunk? Patsy couldn't stand the thought of losing Delia. She could just about handle nothing becoming of last night as long as they stayed friends. Even though Delia's kisses made her feel warm inside.

Patsy was always an early riser and with Delia sleeping off the night before she had too much time for her mind to wander the possibilities of how the morning would go once Delia was away. What if last night was nothing to Delia but a last chance to pull for the night? Maybe Delia was just drunk and alone and chose Patsy on a whim. Meaning it all meant nothing, well, to Delia.

Patsy didn't know whether to be excited or scared about the morning ahead of her. She couldn't bear the anticipation and was hoping with all her might that Delia would wake up soon but was also scared that when Delia woke up she would have her heart broken. All of these conflicting emotions were making Patsy want to explode and she felt lost, even though having Delia curled up in bed with her was the most grounded she had felt in a long time.

Patsy got the fright of her life when Delia quickly woke up and within seconds was off the bed and heading towards the door. Patsy pretended to sleep while listening to which doors was opening and closing. She breathed a sigh of relief when it was just the bathroom door and she couldn't hear any retching which was another good sign. After she settled into the position she'd been in before, Patsy pretended to sleep again, waiting to see if Delia would come back again.

She did, of course, but didn't jump straight back into the same position. She sat more level with Patsy rather than curled in on top of her.

'Pats, you don't have to pretend to sleep, I know you and I know you're awake.' Instead of opening her eyes straight away, she slid into a sitting position and looked down at her fidgeting hands.

Delia swung her legs round to sit on the edge of the bed with her back to Patsy. 'Please talk to me Patsy, I know you're overthinking everything so talk to me. Don't hide away.'

Patsy moved to sit beside Delia but kept some space in between them. She rarely opened up to anyone but if there was anyone, it was Delia. But was this something she could open up about? Could she really let her know all of her insecurities or would that make her run for the hills?

'You don't have to be afraid to talk to me Patsy.'

'Do you regret last night now that you're sober? Am I just a drunken mistake that you want to forget? Did you want me or did you just want someone? Was it all just so you didn't have to spend the night alone? Do you feel like I took advantage of you since you were drunk and I was sober? I cooled it down eventually but not straight away, do you think I should have stopped you earlier? I don't know what you want or what you think and I… I don't want to lose you.' She was breathless by the time she finished talking and her voice was beginning to break as the tears started to build in her eyes. Delia sat and listened patiently while Patsy rambled on.

Delia shuffled closer to Patsy but tried not to suffocate her. 'Darling, it was you I wanted. It's you I want. I wish I could have told you sober but I needed some Dutch courage. I've been crushing on you for a while now, I mean have you looked in a mirror Patsy? You're gorgeous. And funny, kind and caring. You didn't take advantage of me Patsy, I showed up here. I showed up here at 3am and you let me in, you gave me a glass of water and didn't let me take it too far. You didn't take advantage of me, you looked after me. You can decide where we go from here. Whether it's a relationship or a friendship or if you want to walk away. It's your choice, my cards are on the table. I don't want to lose you either Pats, don't ever think I don't or won't want to see you. I'm sorry I've put you through all of this darling, all of this worrying, I'm so sorry. But talk to me, I can't help if I don't know what's going on.'

It was only once she was finished her speech that Delia was able to look up. Patsy tried to stop the tears that were flowing but she was too far gone. She was wrapped in a bear hug in a matter of seconds.

'I'm not crying because I'm sad Deels, I'm crying because I'm happy. You make me happy.'

'If you don't want to decide just now then let me take you out on a date.'

'Delia, you don't need to romanticise me. I've already fallen for you.' Patsy had stopped crying and was smiling at Delia now. 'Do you want to date me?'

'Of course I do, you fool.' Patsy couldn't believe it. All of the worrying had been for nothing. Delia wants to date her. Last night wasn't a mistake, it was perfect. Delia was pulling her out of her insecurities and secretiveness. 'Can I kiss you again Pats? Last night was amazing.'

Patsy didn't reply, she just smiled. They leaned into each other and began a slow, loving kiss. It didn't have the desperation of the night before but it had the romance of the morning. It was tender and caring. It was the perfect amount of affection, not too much and not too little.

They pulled away breathlessly and Delia pulled Patsy towards her for a hug. She rested her head on the smaller girl's shoulder with a smile still plastered to her face.

'Can I take you out to breakfast? It can also be my way of apologising for waking you at 3am like the drunken riot I am.' Delia smiled cheekily at Patsy.

'Delia, as long as I get to curl up with you once you've had a glass of water, you can wake me at 3 in the morning any time you like.' And with that, they were kissing again.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N Sorry this took so long for me to write! I only ever really planned for this to be a one-shot and this is my first ever fanfic so I haven't got much more to write after this chapter I think. It's a bit of a longer chapter this time as I wrote it while procrastinating from my exam. Hope you all like it though! You can find me on tumblr cornerofwhittlestreet I'll always post there if I upload anything. Thank you for all being so kind!**_

They stopped off at Delia's so that she could shower and change before breakfast. Then went to a café that was almost in the middle of where they both stayed. It was a small place but it had a jukebox in the corner and was reasonably priced. They picked the booth in the corner.

They made small talk while waiting on their food to be brought over but Patsy was struggling even with that. There was so much to think about. She was now in a relationship with a woman, a woman who was miles out of her league and she didn't deserve. She would have to 'come out' one day but how long would it take her. She'd have to sit down and tell her flatmates and she had no idea what the outcome of that would be. At least she didn't have to worry about telling her family, her and her father weren't close enough to let him in on something like this. Was Delia already out? Patsy hadn't known that she was interested in women but maybe that was only because it wasn't a topic of conversation. Why was she always filled with so many insecurities?

Patsy realised she'd been quiet for a while now and Delia was looking at her worryingly. She tried to plaster a confident smile on her face but knew straight away she wasn't fooling anyone, especially not Delia.

'Pats, it's not too late for you to back out of this. If this is something you don't want, then you can tell me.' Delia was being so nice to her that it hurt.

'It's not that Deels, I promise.' Patsy just looked down at her hands and avoided eye contact at all cost. She still had the paranoia that Delia was going to leave, even though she didn't sneak out during one of her toilet trips. Besides, even if Delia did want her now, she wouldn't still want her once she found out all the baggage that she came with. Her insecurities and the way she tried to keep herself hidden wasn't even the half of it. Delia would never want her once she realised how much work she was. 'This is something I want, please know and understand that. I do want you. This isn't you, it's me…'

'Really? That's the line you're giving me Patsy?' She couldn't decide whether Delia looked more hurt or annoyed, but this was better. It saved the pain later down the road.

As quickly as she could get one out, a note was thrown onto the table by Patsy as she got ready to make her quick escape. 'I'm so sorry Delia, you deserve so much better than the likes of me.'

The streets around Patsy were blurry as she half ran back to her flat, not helped by the tears that she couldn't stop flowing. By the time she got back to her flat she was out of breath and couldn't even think straight. Why couldn't she just accept the love that Delia was offering? Delia. Delia who was beautiful. Delia who was kind. Delia who showed up on her doorstep _because she wanted her. And she wanted her back._

She had to organise something, or clean something. It was just after noon now so she could hoover without anyone else getting woken. The windows could get washed first though and she could definitely do at least two loads of washing. There was enough to keep her going through until early evening at least.

All the cleaning was finished by around five o'clock and Patsy had moved on to drowning her sorrows. She wasn't typically a wine drinker but it did seem to get her drunk quite quickly. Watching the notebook while drinking wine was not her best decision of the day though. She had made her way through two bottles by the end of the movie and was curled up in bed crying when she opened the third bottle.

She couldn't stand it anymore. She had to talk to Delia. Even if they remained friends that would be better than nothing. Patsy couldn't bear to lose the one person she had opened up to. Not that Delia knew everything that had happened in her life. She didn't like to use her phone while drunk, but this was an exception. She couldn't make the situation much worse so why not.

By this point Patsy was drinking from the bottle. In the last 15 minutes she'd gotten through half the bottle. She attempted to text but her phone was really fuzzy and the words weren't making sense. She somehow managed to phone Delia, or at least she was hoping it was Delia she was ringing.

'Hello Patsy'

'I need to see you, I need to. I can come to you if that's easier? I can bring food too, food sounds so good just now.' Patsy didn't realise until now how much her words were slurring and how drunk she was sounding.

'Pats, are you okay?'

'I'm gonna put my shoes on and come and see you!' There was a thud as Patsy stood to get ready and hit the floor just as quickly.

'Patsy! Patsy what happened? Are you hurt?' Patsy groaned as she grabbed for her phone and pulled herself back onto her bed.

'I need you.'

'I'm leaving now. Just wait there.' The line went dead.

Patsy turned back to the wine she had left in the bottle. She knew she would regret it in the morning, wine hangovers are the worst. But she was going to get one regardless now so she may as well make the most of it. She ended on the floor again when she decided to hide the dvd case for the notebook, not wanting Delia to know she'd been watching it. This time staying on the ground with her back against the bed.

It felt like it had barely been a few minutes when Delia was standing in her doorway looking rather flustered. She closed the door quietly behind her and sat on the floor beside Patsy.

'Patsy. Please talk to me.'

'What do you want to talk about?' Patsy was aware she was really drunk but couldn't do anything to change it now. She finished the rest of the bottle of wine and curled into the side of Delia. She was slightly worried knowing that she talked too much when she was in this state. The truth seemed to flow out of her.

'You called me over Pats. If you don't want a relationship with me, that's okay. If you want to stay friends, that's okay too. If you don't want anything to do with me then just tell me.'

'I don't want you Deels, I need you.'

'Why are you pushing me away?'

Patsy was silent for a couple of seconds and gripped onto Delia tighter. When she did eventually speak it came out as a whisper. 'Because you terrify me.'

'I terrify you? Are you scared of me?' Delia looked horrified at the thought that she'd pressured Patsy or done anything to scare her, but Patsy was far too drunk to see this.

'You could break me in a second. You could leave me. I was scared every time you got up to pee this morning.' Patsy began to cry again; she couldn't stop the tears. Delia held her but stayed quiet to let Patsy talk. It was getting harder and harder to decipher what the drunk girl was saying. 'If we do this it will only end one way, I'll scare you off and end up all alone again. I lose everyone I let get close to me. My mother, my sister. My father can't even stand to look at me. My last 'relationship' was at 16 and she decided I was too much of an emotionally deprived mess for it to work. All I've done since then is build the walls protecting me higher, so why would you, who's amazing and beautiful and could have anyone they wanted, want to go through that.' Patsy realised she'd rambled and said far more than she would ever have said sober but she wasn't able to stop. The only reason she did was because the sobs took control of her body completely.

Delia didn't say a word and just held Patsy. It took a while but slowly the sobs died down. Patsy's breathing became more under control. That was when the red head got hit by the hiccups.

'Pats' Delia breathed out as a whisper. 'Patsy, look at me.'

Patsy did her best to look at Delia but struggled with how blurry her vision had become. Eventually Delia decided this was the best she was going to get and pressed on.

'I don't want anyone else, I want you. I will never leave you, not by choice. You can't scare me away. We've been friends for months and I know how guarded you are. You don't have to tell me anything until you're ready, but don't shut me out or build your walls up higher. I'll wake up in the morning and tell you the exact same thing but for now I think you need to sleep this off and we can have a serious talk in the morning, one you might remember. Come on cariad, into bed.'

Delia attempted to help Patsy to her feet but Patsy just pulled her in close again. Once the hug was over she looked at her softly with unhazy eyes almost asking a question. Her hand cupped Delia's cheek as she leaned in for a kiss. It was soft and caring. Well it was until Patsy's stomach groaned. Delia reacted quicker than Patsy, quickly pulling the girl to her feet and towards the bathroom. Delia's determination was the only reason she made the toilet on time. After a couple of very loud retches Patsy's flatmate, Trixie, popped her head around the door.

'Oh, Delia. Thank god someone was with her! Is everything alright?'

'Yeah Trixie, thanks for checking. Think someone had a little more than she could handle...'

'I did see her walking in with a few bottles of wine looking a little teary eyed but didn't quite expect this. I just gave her space. God, Patsy even knows she can't handle her wine!'

'I can still hear you Trixie, no matter how pissed I am right now' Patsy managed to say while having a break from throwing up. 'And I can handle wine, I could drink you under the table in a wine drinking contest, I could drink you all under the table in wine drinking. You just wait and I'll show you, I'll show you both!'

Delia and Trixie attempted to stifle their laughter as Patsy muttered all of this into the toilet. Delia quietly let Trixie know that she was able to handle this.

'Okay sweetie, I'm working tomorrow but I hope your headache isn't too bad when you wake up. I'm holding you to this wine drinking competition though, so don't forget it.' Trixie gave Patsy's back a small rub and smiled a goodbye to Delia as she headed back to bed.

'Patsy, do you think you're going to be sick again?' Delia crouched back down beside Patsy and rubbed her back again.

'No, think that was everything. A basin might be a good shout though.' Patsy relaxed into Delia again but only after cleaning her face first. Delia didn't let her stay like that for long though.

Firmly sliding her arms under Patsy's to lift her, Delia supported Patsy's weight well. There was groans from Patsy about spending the night on the toilet floor but Delia ignored them. Patsy slowly managed to put one foot in front of the other while being supported by Delia and eventually they were back in her room. Working together, Patsy softly sat down on the bed.

'Pats, I'm going to go get a basin, but I'm coming back, okay?' Delia now knew some of Patsy's insecurities and wanted to use this knowledge to comfort her.

'Will you stay tonight?'

'If you want me to, I will'

'I want you to' Delia got up to go and get a basin from the kitchen as Patsy lay back on the bed. 'Can I be the little spoon?'

'Of course, cariad. But let me get the basin first. We wouldn't want a stain on the carpet now, would we' Delia giggled as she left the room.

She found one easily enough and filled in with a little bit of water, that way if Patsy was sick it was much easier to clean out. Returning quickly, Patsy was exactly where she left her looking at Delia with what could only be a lovesick smile. She tucked Patsy in at the edge of bed with the basin on the floor and climbed in behind Patsy. It wasn't long before Patsy had turned round and was leaning into her.

'Patience Mount, you were sick with that mouth and didn't even brush your teeth. If you think you are kissing me, you've got another thing coming.' She couldn't help but laugh through the stern talking she was giving Patsy.

'Well you will just have to kiss me then!' This was a new and playful side to Patsy that Delia had never seen before. But tonight wasn't the night and Delia knew this. She didn't want to risk things. She didn't want to have the same conversation she had with Patsy in the café ever again. So instead she rolled Patsy to the edge of the bed so that she was facing the basin and curled into the back of her. Wrapping her arms around her so that she was the big spoon, she also began to gently drop kisses from Patsy's shoulder to her ear.

'Tonight isn't the night Pats, sleep this off, _brush your teeth,_ and we'll see what happens.'

Patsy relaxed back into Delia as she began stroking her hair. Her breathing got deeper and Delia assumed she was asleep.

'I think I might love you Delia' the drunk girl mumbled out. Delia took a few seconds to take this in but her thoughts were interrupted by light snores escaping Patsy's mouth.

'I think I might love you too'.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this took so long! I had a weeks holiday from uni and spent it finally relaxing! I've got quite a busy month ahead but hoping to do my best to update a bit more regularly! Thank you for all the kind messages and people keeping up with this! I'm on tumblr cornerofwhittlestreet I tend to post there when I update and will post new stories there once I get round to them. Thank you all again!**

When Patsy first stirred away in the morning the first thing she noticed was that her head was throbbing. The second thing was the horrible taste in her mouth. The third was the arms wrapped around her, with one hand gently resting under her shirt on her stomach. The fourth thing was that she was about one minute away from peeing herself.

She slowly unwrapped herself from the beauty that was wrapped around her, doing her best not to wake her. As soon as she was standing she ran as quickly and quietly as she could on her tiptoes to the toilet. Relief hit Patsy the second she sat down on the toilet seat. She had a faint memory of being in here last night to be sick but it was still hazy. _Bloody hell Patsy, when is wine ever a good idea. Never, it is never a good idea. That's when._

Next was to brush her teeth and finally get rid of the taste of last night's regrets. Colgate had never tasted so good in her entire life. Patsy had a quick glance in the mirror and wished she hadn't. She looked an utter state. Plus, Delia was in her bed right now. So another couple of minutes were spent trying to tidy herself up the best she could with no hairbrush and a throbbing headache.

Finally, she headed through to the kitchen for a very large glass of water and some painkillers. She was too focused on the running of the tap to hear anyone else walking into the kitchen until a strong, confident hand was placed on her waist. She jumped but didn't move away from the hand as Delia tipped out the basin with water down the sink. Another hand was placed on Patsy's shoulder as Delia stretched up and gave her a quick but gentle kiss.

'Mmm, I'm really glad you brushed your teeth. How's your head?'

'I need painkillers.' It barely even came out as a croak and Patsy could feel the rawness of her throat. Delia smiled at her but Patsy couldn't help but feel confused. Last night was still hazy and she couldn't remember exactly what happened. 'Delia, about last night. I don't… I don't really remember. I'm sorry, it's all fuzzy… I'

'It's okay Pats, I want us to talk anyway. About last night and yesterday in the café.' Delia must've seen Patsy's face fall after she mentioned the café. She stretched up on her tiptoes and gently kissed Patsy's cheek and whispered in her ear. 'Relax, you don't have to be scared. Not of me.'

With that she took Patsy's hand and led her through to the bedroom. She kept a light hold of Patsy's hand while rubbing soft circle's into her palm with her thumb. Patsy could feel her heart beating quicker and louder than ever and tried to calm herself down by going into 'nurse mode'. Being tachycardiac was not going to help her through this conversation. And if she didn't get her breathing under control she would probably end up hypoxic and hyperventilating. Thinking it all through helped her feel in control and mixing that with Delia's soothing hands helped her heart rate slow and breathing steady. Eventually looking up at Delia, Patsy saw a worried expression across her face.

'Sorry…'

'You don't have to be sorry Pats; you have nothing to be sorry about. How much do you remember from last night?'

'I have a faint memory of being sick and I definitely remember drinking wine.' Patsy stopped to think and to consider how honest she should be. After everything, surely Delia deserved the truth now. She was still here. She'd stuck around. _She deserves the truth, stop hiding Patsy. This is it. Don't push her away._ 'I remember thinking about you and then you were here.'

 _Just because I've said the truth doesn't mean I have to look her in the eyes._ Patsy waited to see how Delia would react but was surprised when she heard the Welsh girl laughing.

'You called me Pats. You went from talking about walking to see me, to bringing me food within seconds. Then there was a really loud thud which I'm pretty sure was you hitting the deck. I left almost straight away and got here as quick as I could. When I got here you were on the floor drinking wine from the bottle.' Delia burst out into laughter again and struggled to get it under control.

To say Patsy felt embarrassed would have been an understatement. Her face must have been the same colour as her hair. She didn't stay like this for long as Delia was leaning into her while still laughing which encouraged Patsy to eventually laugh along. Mainly because the other girl's laughter was infectious. Eventually Patsy recovered from the laughing fit and was able to talk.

'I'm sorry about last night. I don't normally sit and get drunk on my own. Thank you for coming when I called.'

'It's okay Patsy, really it is.' Delia lightly brushed the hair from Patsy's face and tucked it behind her ear. 'Do you remember what we talked about once I got here?'

Patsy wracked her brain but couldn't think of anything in between seeing Delia in the doorway to being sick in the bathroom. Delia sat patiently while Patsy was thinking and took hold of her hand as a way of comforting Patsy without crowding her.

'I can't remember. I don't remember anything. Do I even want to know?'

'You told me I terrify you. Because I could leave. How you were scared every time that I got up to pee. How you've lost your family and you mentioned a relationship you had when you were 16. You seem to think you can scare me away but I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere unless you're with me.' Patsy could hear Delia's voice getting more strained as it threatened to break but couldn't take her eyes off of their intertwined hands to look at her.

'Oh, and you also challenged me and Trixie to a wine drinking contest after you were sick. Apparently you'll be able to drink us all under the table' Delia whispered cheekily, regaining control of her voice. 'Please talk to me, trust me. I don't want to have to watch you walk away again like I did yesterday.'

 _I can do this. I can trust her. I trust her more than anyone but that doesn't change that she might leave. If I tell her she'll be the only person I've ever told. She'll know so much about me, too much. But that's what a relationship is, getting to know one another. I can do this. She's still here. She came last night when I called and is still here now. You know she cares about you; you can see it in her eyes. I can do this. I trust her._

'I don't know where to start Deels. This will probably take me a while. Yesterday I didn't mean what I did. Walking away from you was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I was just so scared. Everything was happening so fast, I knew I was crushing on you bad but I never expected anything and then out of blue you were on my doorstep and kissing me. I'm not out and I don't know how everyone would react. I feel like I'll scare you away or mess this up somehow and I wanted to protect us both from becoming more hurt down the line but it hurt so much walking away from you. I hate that I used the worst break up line in history but… but you make me feel vulnerable because I want to let you in. Because I want you here.'

She couldn't stay in control anymore and the sobs overcame her body. Her chest was shaking under the strain of her lungs but she felt Delia wrap her arms around her and holds her close. Chest shaking sobs turned into steadier breathing and tear streaked faces that turned into gentle kisses of comfort.

'I'm not leaving you, Patience Mount. I'm still here and you have nothing to worry about. I'm sorry I put you through my drunken confession. Don't worry about telling people, you don't have to tell a soul until you're ready and I'll be with you every step of the way. Like I'm here with you now.'

After more kisses of comfort, Patsy finally was able to form a whisper.

'Can we just curl up and rest for a while. I'm still pretty hungover and I don't think I can say anymore just now. I'll tell you more later today, just not yet. I just want to take a nap while wrapped up in you.'

Delia didn't reply but instead lay down with the red head and wrapped her in her arms. Once comfy Delia made sure she had eye contact before sharing her confession.

'I've fallen for you bad Patsy. I love you, I love you more than you know.'

The arms wrapped around Patsy held her even tighter as the tears began to leak from her eyes again. Both women were quiet until drifting into sleep, both knowing the unspoken words that Patsy felt the same. Delia personally thought that Patsy had said the words first even if it wasn't in the three words that were typically spoken. She said them when she finally opened up to Delia and let her in.

 **I think I'll try to squeeze a few more chapters out of this and have a better idea of where I want it to go! Feel free to comment or send me a message on tumblr if you have any ideas or think I should end it ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N Sorry guys I have a big presentation coming up at uni so I wanted to finish this chapter before I dive into uni work (so I've only read over this quickly). I don't know if I like this chapter yet but oh well! Hopefully once my presentation is out of the way I can start updating this better although I have no idea where it's going still! Thank you for your feedback and let me know what you think of where it's going! Find me on tumblr! cornerofwhittlestreet_

For the third time in a row, when Patsy woke up, Delia was still beside her. Delia was proving to be the opposite force to her insecurities, creating more of a balance. Unfortunately, the balance was still swaying more towards the insecurities that survived in Patsy's head. But Delia was still here, although earlier on had only been the beginning. She had to be more honest with Delia or else it would just create more space for her self-doubt. Was it sensible to unload everything onto her already? Her mother and sister, dead. Her father, refused to talk to her. Her aunt, distanced by Patsy's insistent need to push others away. Oh god, she mentioned her ex from boarding school as well. _Never, ever, ever, ever drinking again._

Did she have to tell Delia everything? Could she not hide some of it? Surely she wasn't expected to lay all of her cards on the table leaving her completely exposed and vulnerable. Delia would have to patient. Patsy wasn't ready to tell her everything; it was as simple as that. As long as she didn't push Delia away again or try to let her past come between them, did it really matter? Just because she wasn't ready to bare her soul to Delia didn't mean she didn't want her. She would tell her once she was ready, probably when she was drunk.

Unknown to Patsy, Delia had woken up and could tell that she was in distress. She'd initially been woken when Patsy's hands started shaking on and off but quickly realised how tense she was. She wanted to give her space to think everything through but find the right balance so that Patsy knew she was always there for her.

Patsy felt Delia's hand gently take her own to steady the shaking and at first tensed but relaxed after the shock had worn off. They both automatically slid into positions that put them face to face with their noses almost touching. Their eyes met and neither could look away. Patsy didn't remember any decision being made, just that everything started moving at the speed of light. Their lips met as arms grabbed the pull each other even closed than they already were. Tongues met and moans were stifled as her hand ran through Delia's hair. Chests heaved as Delia was rolled onto her back with Patsy pressing down on her.

She moved onto Delia's neck while Delia was running her hands down Patsy's back and pulling her even closer towards her, if it was even possible. Delia's hands moved onto the button's on Patsy's shirt and started to kiss all the new flesh on show. Patsy didn't remember making another decision. All she remembered was having moved halfway across the room in a matter of seconds ending with her back again the door as she buttoned herself back up without looking at Delia.

'I'm sorry, I can't, Delia. I don't… know how… to let… I'm sorry' Patsy rambled as she gripped the wall for support.

'Pats' it was barely a whisper but enough to bring Patsy out of her own head. Her eyes finally ventured from the wall to look at Delia but was shocked when she saw the small smile on the younger woman's face. Although she could still see the worry in her eyes. 'It's okay, just talk to me.'

'Do you want lunch?' Patsy spoke confidently. She would talk to Delia eventually but right now deflecting the worry was easier. Plus she was starving.

She didn't wait for an answer as she opened the door to go to the kitchen. Delia had the option to follow or wait for her to whip something up. She wasn't the best cook but she could if she needed to. After lining a grill pan with bacon and leaving it to cook she settled at the table and lit a cigarette. Even though she knew it was bad for her lungs it was the best thing to help steady her breathing. Straight away she felt some of the tension and stress that were clouding her thoughts drift away. The long draws calming her.

Delia settled down in front of her and they sat in silence. The worry was still in her eyes but her face tried to cover it.

'I don't want to pressure you Patsy, and I won't. Just tell me when things are too much.' It was in that moment Patsy decided to blurt out one of her secrets hoping they could move on from it straight away. She went to butter some rolls which left her with her back to Delia.

'My mother and sister are dead and my father refuses to talk to me' Patsy whispered. She didn't realise she'd been holding her breath until she released it at the end of the sentence. Her voice was breaking when she continued and she struggled to stop the emotion showing through. 'I've never told anyone any of this… but I trust you, I know I don't show it but I do, more than anyone. It was a long time ago. I can't say anything else just now, I can't. One day Deels, I promise.'

Patsy had a tight grip on the kitchen counter to keep herself steady and stop her head from spinning. _I should be doing this drunk, definitely not sober. At least that would explain the spinning. I could fall and alcohol would get the blame. Not my pathetic-ness._ She was turned round as Delia came to stand beside her. A head placed on her shoulder and the other on her waist. Blue eyes bore into her own. Searching eyes were returned looking for a reaction.

'I'm sorry you've had to keep this to yourself for so long. You don't have to anymore.' A chaste kiss was placed on her cheek.

Patsy still stood in silence. Delia was trustworthy. She didn't leave and she didn't overdo the whole 'comforting' thing that anyone else would do. The scent of the bacon snapped her out of her thoughts and she rushed over to the cooker.

'Pats, you're not one of those people that only butter one side of the rolls are you?' Delia said sternly but with a teasing tone. When Patsy turned around she was standing with one hand on her hip as though ready to give her a telling off.

'What would you say if I said I was?' The tension from the revelation had gone as they got back to themselves and a smirk spread across her face.

'I would tell you that we need to have a serious talk about if our lives are heading in the same direction considering we both have such different outlooks on life.' Delia stood with her arms folded as she did her best to keep a straight face even though Patsy could see she was struggling.

'Well it's a good job I'm not one of those people who only butter one side then. I simply just hadn't finished when I could smell that the bacon was ready.' The playfulness the two were sharing was helping Patsy relax more than Delia would ever be aware.

'Well, thank goodness for that.' The two smiled at each other, finally have cleared the air better than they had on their last attempt. Even though they had a lot further to go.


	6. Chapter 6

_I'm so sorry this took so long for me to update! I wanted to make it a slightly longer chapter as a way of apologising but didn't feel this was the right chapter to do this with. So instead I'm going to try and update a bit more regularly. No uni for a few weeks, and I've only got on more week of work until time off, I have wifi and my 'writer's block' seems to have slightly disappeared. Thank for putting up with me. Tumblr is cornerofwhittlestreet come and say hey! Hope you all enjoy and thanks again for putting up with me!_

The two of them took things slowly. Going for coffee a few times a week and one time Delia even managed to convince Patsy to come out for dinner. Patsy hadn't told Delia anymore secrets over the next two weeks but she could feel everything beginning to boil over again. Although things were going slowly it often got quite heated for the pair.

One night all was going well and they ended up back in Patsy's bedroom after going for coffee. Patsy was putting all of her feelings into kissing Delia instead of talking about them. Patsy was straddling Delia and slowly making her way from her neck onto her chest. Delia lifted Patsy's chin gently to pull her lips back up to her own and wrapped her arms around her neck. Patsy then started to gently slide her hands under Delia's blouse.

'You will never believe… oh!' Trixie stormed into the room and froze when she seen what she had interrupted. Patsy sprung away from Delia and almost fell backwards of the bed while Delia was pulling her blouse back down to cover herself. 'I'm sorry I should have knocked.'

Trixie backed out of the room closing the door while the other two sat in a stunned silence. Eventually Delia snapped out of it and slowly slid over to Patsy. She gently wrapped her arms around Patsy's waist but removed them again when she felt the other girl flinch and grow tense at her touch. Refusing to give up and let Patsy deal with this on her own, Delia gently placed her hand on her shoulder.

'Pats…' whispered Delia before the redhead had jumped up and walked across the room. She stood there holding onto the dresser, keeping her back to Delia. 'Patsy?'

Patsy wanted to be brave this time, to increase her confidence and show Delia that she truly trusts her. To be able to open up and look her eye afterwards. She might not be able to rid herself of the overwhelming urge to run but at the very least she could possibly start to ignore it with more enthusiasm. With fake bravery in her bones she sat beside Delia on the bed, far enough away not to be touching, and turned herself to look at Delia.

'My father, he can't accept this. Well, he won't, he refuses to,' Patsy's voice had been a quivering mess as soon as she opened her mouth and eventually broke. She took a steadying breath as she held her eye contact. 'When he found out he went ballistic. He said more to me in that hour than he had over the five years before then. He's basically disowned me and I've barely heard from him since.'

Patsy did her best to act confident but once the tears started coming she couldn't keep looking at Delia. But it didn't matter, Delia wrapped her arms around her and held her safe. Patsy tucked her head into Delia's shoulder while Delia stroked her hair and whispered comforting words in her ear. _She is still here. She still hasn't turned her back on you._

'Patsy I know it matters to you what he thinks. But if you being gay means that he doesn't want to know you, then that is his loss. And quite a big one at that. You are kind and beautiful. You have this amazing sense of humour where you are either hilarious or your so unfunny that its funny. You don't have to change for anyone. Not me, your father or even Trixie. You are you and that's something to be proud of.' Delia was looking so lovingly at her and saying all these things that made her head and her heart want to explode. In a way, they kind of did.

'I love you. I'm in love with you. Not the drunken mumble, I didn't admit to remembering, that I gave you the other week. I mean head over heels. You give me butterflies and make my heart speed up anytime I see you. Even when your name pops up on my phone. You make me feel safe, safer than anyone else ever has. And I want to be with you. I want to call you my official girlfriend. And I want you to come through to find Trixie with me. To hold my hand while I stutter and stumble over my words as I tell Trixie that I'm a lesbian, I always have been and that you're my girlfriend. Which I hope you are?'

Patsy had no idea how she managed to say all of that to Delia, especially sober, with no real driving force making her. Or how the hell she managed to say all of it sounding so confident, which she definitely wasn't. She hadn't felt this happy in a very long time and while she wasn't ready to shout it from the rooftops, she wanted Trixie to know. Well Trixie did already know now, but she wanted to tell Trixie properly, to let her know how happy she was to be with Delia. Now all that mattered was how Delia reacted to her revelation.

'I love you too, Patsy. You've reeled me in like a fish on a hook. I couldn't not love you. And of course I'm your girlfriend. I'd like to think that you know not just any girl gets to put her hand up my top. I'm sorry Patsy I don't know what else to say' Delia raised her hand to Patsy's cheek. 'Because all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you right now. And how I want your hand back where it was before Trixie walked in.'

A mischievous grin creeped onto Delia's face as Patsy leaned in to kiss her. She was on her back again before she knew it and they were in the same position they'd been in before Trixie walked through the door.

Trixie was sitting in the kitchen looking nervous when Patsy and Delia eventually walked through. A look of guilt etched across her face. Patsy then realised that she shouldn't have waited so long to come through and find Trixie but she simply couldn't help herself when Delia looked at her like that.

'Patsy I'm really sorry, I should have knocked I know you've told me plenty times to. I didn't even realise you had company. I'm so sorry' when Trixie rambled, blimey could she do it fast. Although in doing so Patsy realised how sorry the blonde truly was or she wouldn't have been so desperate to get her apology out. She went and sat down next to her, knowing it was time to come clean.

'Trixie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've hid this part of me from you for so long. I should've told you, we both know I've had plenty of opportunities to but I could never find the words to tell you. I'm… I'm gay, a lesbian. I'm sorry to admit I've known since before I met you and hid it from you the entire time. I'm with Delia, romantically, she's my girlfriend. And I'm really happy, I hope you can be happy for me, for us, and that you're okay with all of this. And gosh, I'm so sorry you found out the way you did. I think it's safe to say we both would've preferred you finding out in a different way, in any other way really.'

'I'm happy for you, I truly am. I just wish you'd told me. I've known you for years now Patsy and this is such a big part of you. I'm sorry you weren't able to trust me' Trixie looked as if she was close to crying but quickly shook herself off. 'So how long have you and Delia been dating? You're going to have to tell me everything!'

All of the guilt and worry had disappeared from Trixie's face and was replaced by a smile. She was accepted, she was finally accepted. She knew not everyone would accept her, that would be an ideal world, but for now one of the most important people in her life accepted her. And it felt good. Patsy was truly happy.

'I think it's time for that wine drinking competition. Y'know, the one where Patsy said she could drink us all under the table? Don't you agree Trixie?' Delia had a wicked grin across her face and Patsy could already feel the hangover without even having a drop of alcohol.

'I think you're right Delia! What do you prefer, since you are the woman of the moment? White, red or rose?' Maybe telling Trixie wasn't the best idea, now that she had two people to gang up on her…

'I'm not the biggest fan of red, but anything else I'm not fussy with' Delia still had that smirk across her face but Patsy still felt truly happy. In fact, all she wanted to do was kiss that look straight off of Delia's face, but her confidence around Trixie still wasn't that high, even if she had already caught her with her hand up Delia's top.

Three glasses were placed on the table with a bottle of Pinot Grigio to start the night off. But if Patsy knew Trixie, which she did, there would be a lot more bottles of wine placed on the table before the night ended. She knew this might be a mistake, not telling Trixie but more the wine, and that it might not end too well for her. She may not be looking forward to the hangover she would have to face tomorrow but she was looking forward to finally telling Trixie.


	7. Chapter 7

_This chapter is quite a bit shorter than all the other chapters but it's only because it was the easiest point to break it off from the next chapter which I pinky promise will be up in the next few days (although I am nightshift tonight). Hope you all enjoy and thanks for keeping up with the story!_

'Will you come dancing with me on Friday night?' Delia asked Patsy nervously. She knew it would be a big step for the redhead.

They were curled up in Delia's bed with Patsy's head on her stomach while Delia played with her hair. Patsy was drawing gentle circles on Delia's waist and their legs were intertwined. Patsy felt content.

Everything with Trixie was going great, except the constant questions that Patsy usually found quite embarrassing. So far she was the only flat mate that she had told / accidentally found out. She wasn't sure how Barbara, Cynthia and Winifred would take it and was not quite ready to find out. Although Trixie was the most important one to tell. So it relaxed her slightly that she knew and was perfectly okay with it.

But dancing was another step. That was out in public, not in the safety of either of their flats. Although two girls could go out dancing without it meaning anything, without anyone noticing anything. But it didn't mean nothing to them, it was something. An important step. A step that Patsy wasn't quite sure she was ready for yet.

'Patsy, not everyone will react the same way your father did' Delia whispered, once it was clear that she'd receded into her head again.

'I know that Delia'. Patsy stood abruptly and Delia realised she'd taken the wrong approach. 'I'm trying here. And I want to brave enough but I'm not. And I don't know what to do.'

Delia seemed to realise before Patsy did that she was crying. That it wasn't elegant crying with a few tears shed, it was chest heaving sobbing. Patsy didn't even realise that she was struggling to breath until Delia wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. Nor did she realise that her legs were giving way until Delia gently guided her to the floor.

She felt so pathetic, all this just because Delia asked her to go dancing. Girls go dancing together all the time. She wasn't even sure that Delia meant it as a date, for all she knew it could have been a group event. Well, she knew it was a date. Or else she wouldn't be in this mess on the floor. She truly did want to be brave, but she was so _scared._

She still didn't know how to come out to everyone around her. In fact, she'd even googled different ways to do it, without telling Delia of course. To do it as a joke? To start making very obvious sarcastic jokes until people were basically expecting it? Baking a cake seemed to rather quite popular. But she would probably through them in the bin before she could actually hand them out. The brave part of her wanted to jump out of a wardrobe or cupboard and make a 'in the closet' joke, but she knew she would never actually do it. Her absolute favourite was a knock knock joke and somehow it was the one she was swaying towards.

Deep down, she knew it was all to do with her father. No matter what happened she always wanted to tell him things, even though they'd barely spoken in years. She wanted to update him on her life but more than that, she wanted him to ask, _to care._ She was 26 years old for heaven's sake, surely he wouldn't still see it as a phase she conducted to rebel. To act out because of everything she'd had to go through. She wanted to tell him and have a proper conversation. One that preferably didn't end in tears, raised voices and slamming doors.

'Talk to me sweetheart. You aren't in this alone.' Delia. Delia was the only thing keeping her afloat just now. Without her she'd still be repressing all of this.

'I want to tell my father.' Patsy tried to keep going but her voice was breaking. Delia gave her all the time she needed to calm down again. 'He thought it was rebellious phase I was going through, for the sole purpose to piss him off. I want to tell him it's real, that it's serious. _That I'm happy._ '

Why couldn't she just talk to Delia in normal situations? She always let things boil over and spill out in a mess. She had to start talking to her and telling her everything. This was the reason that Emily broke up with her all those years ago. Even if it wasn't a 'real' relationship, the reason it all ended was because she ended up in states like this. All because she couldn't talk about her emotions like a normal human being.

'I want to talk to you. I want to tell you everything.'


	8. Chapter 8

_I technically had this finished and ready to upload last night but I fell asleep on my laptop (fully clothed, light on) as I'm still changing from night shift back to days. I'm also going to change this from Romance/Humour to Romance/Angst. I also want to dedicate this chapter to Steff for her support! Hope you's enjoy and thanks for keeping up with the story!_

'I want to talk to you. I want to tell you everything.'

They were curled up together in a weird shaped ball on the floor. Delia wasn't expecting Patsy to say that. She doesn't know quite what she was expecting but that was the last thing she was prepared for. It floored her and all she could do was stare at Patsy with eyes wide and jaw slightly dropped.

Patsy on the other hand already felt a weight lifted off of her shoulders. _This wouldn't end the same way as it did with Emily._ Not if she had anything to do with it. If Delia still left afterwards then at least she did what she was capable off to make a change. Almost more than what she was capable of. Emily and Delia were two different people. And they were both only teenagers back then and Patsy had been through more than most. Neither were ready for whatever it was that happened between them.

Delia had supported her through everything so far, in every way possible. And here she was again consoling Patsy while she broke down inconveniently, again. _All over going fucking dancing. Dancing, for fucks sake._ And on the floor of all uncomfortable places to choose.

Once Delia's eyes had recovered from her shock they wordlessly stood up and sat next to each other on the bed again. Patsy didn't know where to start though. She didn't feel even nearly confident enough to just talk aimlessly about herself.

'Deels, I don't know where to start. What do you want to know?'

'I don't want to pressure you Pats. Start where you're comfortable.' Ha, nowhere. Delia gently brushed the strands of Patsy's hair from her face. 'Tell me what you're thinking about or what's bothering you just now.'

Here she blows.

'Emily.' Delia was not quite expecting another girl's name to come out of Patsy's mouth but gave her the chance to explain by staying quiet. 'Well not about Emily herself, but about how it all blew up.'

'This was the girl at 16?' Delia took Patsy's hand and subconsciously started drawing circles on her palm. Delia might not have realised she was doing it but it gave Patsy enough comfort to continue.

'We were at boarding school together. It just seemed to happen. It wasn't exactly the most diverse grouping of girls. I don't even know if we classed it as a relationship. She started to break through all the barriers that I set up but I never took them down far enough. Not far enough for her.'

Fear was beginning to take over. If she told Delia about why Emily ended things, would it just make Delia want to leave as well?

No.

Fuck it.

 _Just fucking go for it._

'I wouldn't talk about it all. I tried. But the only time I ever managed to talk to her was when everything became too much and I was a crying mess. When things I didn't want to say just seemed to spill out. I couldn't talk to her regularly, I had to be at breaking point. So she ended it, being impolitely honest.'

 _Trust her._

 _Tell her your fears._

'She ended it because the only time I told her anything that truly bothered me was when it was too much. The same as I was two minutes ago. The way I always am with you.' She couldn't keep her voice together anymore. 'And I don't want to lose you.'

This time when the tears started coming Patsy was determined that she was strong enough for this. She had to prove to Delia that she was strong enough to handle herself. Otherwise she stood the risk of losing her. So when Delia reached out to wrap her into another hug she stayed strong.

'No. I can do this, let me do this.' Delia looked shocked and slightly hurt but Patsy didn't see any of this. All she could see was the door in front of her that she stayed focused on, willing herself not to run.

'You won't lose me.' When Delia spoke it barely even came out as a whisper. 'I'm not Emily. And I can see how hard you're trying and you're doing so well cariad.'

'I'm going to arrange to tell my father, properly. Then I want to tell the rest of the girls.' Patsy's mind was in overdrive, every thought was processed clinically and sorted into lists. 'Then we'll go dancing.'

'Pats' Delia gently turned Patsy's chin to make her look at her. 'I will love you however you come. Please don't push yourself over the edge.'

Patsy took a deep breath in. She could do this. It was only the two of them there. She had already told Delia that she loved her. For such a new relationship they'd been through a lot. She was allowed to say cute things to her. _It would help show how much she loved her._

'I won't go over the edge. Not when it's you here with me. You make me feel like I always have two feet on the ground. I feel safe.' Patsy's voice stayed strong through the tears. 'Even though I feel absolutely fucking terrified at the same time' she laughed out.

Delia leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her cheek.

'Right we're going to cinema to see Ghostbusters. You can invite Trixie and that if you want.'

'No, just us.'

'And if the movie itself or Melissa McCarthy doesn't cheer you up, then at least Kate McKinnon in all her beauty will.'

'Is that so, because I prefer my woman small, brunette and Welsh. I'm not sure she's either of them…'

'Well isn't that lucky for me. Get your shoes on while I check the times sweetheart.'

'Deels, you truly are amazing.'


	9. Chapter 9

_This chapter is an 'apology in advance' chapter unfortunately (although hopefully not - I'm just being prepared). Tomorrow I start my next uni placement and have to juggle both that and work so I'm not sure yet how busy I'll be for the next few weeks (next week is mental) so my updates might be unstable for a while. But I will continue you with this story and It's A Match, they won't become unfinished fanfics! I hope you can all be patient with me and I promise I'll do my best to update as often as I can. Hope you enjoy this chapter and come say hey on tumblr if anyone feels like it (cornerofwhittlestreet)._

'Really Deels, Eastenders?' Patsy scoffed at Delia. 'You don't actually enjoy this rubbish, do you?'

'My mam always watched it, there's nothing like the whole family sitting round the tele on Christmas Day to watch the drama unfold. Did you never watch it when you were young?' Delia said as she lifted her legs to lie across Patsy's.

'I grew up in Singapore and when we moved back to Britain I went straight to boarding school, so I'm afraid there was no Eastenders for me.' Patsy spoke more confidently than she felt. She truly was doing her best to talk about her past naturally.

'Singapore? I never knew that about you!' Delia paused for a moment but decided not to push the subject with Patsy. 'Although I suppose that's a valid excuse. I can't imagine Eastenders is very popular in Singapore. Was there no tele at your boarding school?'

'There was,' Patsy had started to get a light blush, 'but that was the best time to sneak out for a cigarette. Everyone was too preoccupied with watching Eastenders.'

'Patience Mount, you little rebel! A cigarette over Eastenders, terrible taste.'

The pair of them were sat on the sofa giggling when the theme tune started up. Patsy was ready to be brave. She'd never felt more secure and confident than she did with Delia. The past few days had been perfect ever since she had her word vomit episode. Since then she'd been honest with her instead of avoiding questions. And now she was ready to be even braver. She took a deep breath as she shifted under Delia's legs to stand.

'Well here's your chance to be a rebel,' Patsy said as she removed her t-shirt. 'Eastenders' she dropped her t-shirt to the floor, 'or terrible taste.'

Delia's eyes widened and jaw dropped in harmony. She didn't take her eyes off of Patsy as she rose from the sofa and walked towards her. Patsy started backing out of the living room, hoping that Delia would follow her, which of course she did. Delia pounced once they were out of the living room and in the hallway. She meant to ease the blow but she collided with Patsy with such ferocity that the redhead went flying into the wall.

'I'm sorry, I just… You're just…' Delia stuttered while still ravaging Patsy with her eyes.

The two locked lips again, still in the hallway, with Patsy pressed against the wall. A light moan escaped Patsy as Delia's hands began to travel upwards from her waist and her lips moved to Patsy's neck.

'So is this better than Eastenders?' Patsy eventually managed to ask.

'I haven't decided yet, it's a close competition' Delia whispered back cheekily.

'Maybe I'm still wearing too many clothes?' Patsy responded innocently. _Be brave._

'Pats, we don't have to, if you don't want to we don't have to, I don't want to pressure you, I don't want to influence your decisions,' Delia rambled, not wanting to pressure her girlfriend but not wanting to offend her either.

'Deels, you were talking about Eastenders. I think I might just be the influencing factor here.' Patsy was keeping eye contact better than she ever had before, she was more vocal as well. She moved to start undoing the buttons on her jeans.

'Well then. Maybe you are wearing to clothes, it is getting awfully hot in her.'

Delia moved to take the zip down on Patsy's jeans when the front door clattered open and Trixie and Cynthia walked in, both looking shocked at the situation they'd walked in on. Mainly the predicament Patsy was having with a lack of a clothes. In synchronised motions Patsy dived behind Delia as Delia stepped in front of Patsy, trying to shield her from friends. Patsy, being a lot taller, had to crouch into Delia's back.

'Trixie your timing is perfect as always!' Patsy hissed through her teeth. It didn't help her temper when she heard the blonde giggling as well.

'I take full responsibility for last time Patsy but this time… This time is definitely on you. You dark horse…' Trixie was slowly being overcome by the giggles. 'Where's your top?'

Patsy was almost glad to have an excuse to hide behind Delia as at least it covered the blush that had taken over her face. Delia must've felt the heat from Patsy's cheeks radiate onto her back.

'Living room floor Trixie' Delia said calmly. _How could she react she damn calmly in these god forsaken situations._

Patsy heard the living room door go but was still too nervous to look up. And she didn't until she felt the piece of clothing land on her as Trixie flung it. It was quickly put back on. _Shit. Cynthia._ She didn't know. Patsy wasn't really feeling ready for her to know either. Not only that but the poor girl still looked slightly gob smacked.

'Cynthia…' Patsy didn't have words for her. She thought she did but once it came to actually saying them out loud they disappeared. It wasn't words she needed. _Actions speak louder than words._

She stepped beside Delia and placed her hand into the brunette's and gave a light squeeze. Delia looked shocked at first but soon a smile covered her face and Patsy knew she made the right decision. This one was a keeper. _But holy shit it felt like her heart was beating at 500 bpm._

'Cynthia, I know you're religious. I know what the bible says about…'

'Patsy,' Cynthia had finally regained control of her facial expressions and walked over to her and took her spare hand. 'As long as you're happy and you aren't hurting anyone, then I don't care. I mean I would also prefer not to catch you almost naked from the waist up, but you should be more careful if you aren't ready for people to find out. Especially their reactions.'

Patsy knew straight away that Cynthia was talking about Winifred. Barbara, although her father was a priest, had quite an accepting spirit and Patsy was hoping that this meant that she would accept her. Winifred on the other hand was sometimes quite openly against all natures of LGBT and could often be heard muttering cruelly under her breath. The two weren't exactly close but had a strong enough friendship that Patsy didn't want to risk. There was a certain camaraderie that had been established quickly between the two, but Patsy wasn't sure it would be enough. And that was one road she was definitely not ready to go down.

Patsy smiled at the smaller girl as Delia took her other spare hand and the three resembled a prayer circle. But the redhead couldn't hold off any longer and embraced Cynthia tightly, letting her emotions run slightly.

'I'm really glad you've found someone who makes you this happy Patsy,' Cynthia said after she recovered from the second most shocking thing to happen to her today.

Trixie then walked over to Delia and wrapped her arm around her shoulder as the brunette was looking moved by the scene that had unfolded in front of her. 'You're good for her,' Trixie whispered into her ear. 'Right you two that's it, GROUP HUG!'

Patsy tearily turned round and pulled Trixie into the hug and she pulled Delia with her. The four of them stood in an awkward huddle, mainly awkward due to the height differences, until Trixie pulled away.

'Well Cynthia, I think we should leave these love birds to it. But please Patience, you have a bedroom – use it!' Trixie giggled as she pulled Cynthia into the kitchen with her.

Patsy pulled Delia through to her bedroom and used the smaller girl's back to close the door for her. Her hands were back on her waist and she leaned down to reclaim the Welsh girl's lips.

'Now where were we…' Patsy muttered against her lips.

Delia pushed Patsy over to the bed and settled on her lap. Eventually though, she pulled away as she knew she had to say something about what just happened, and if she let Patsy continue, she soon wouldn't be able to form words.

'Pats, sweetheart, I'm so proud of you. I just want you to know that I see how difficult all of this is for you and you are doing amazingly. I know you weren't ready for Cynthia to find out and especially not like that, but the way you reacted,' Delia's voice had reduced to a whisper and a few tears had escaped. _How does she display her emotions so easily?_ 'I love you Patsy, more than anything. And five minutes ago you showed me how much you love me, and I'm so proud of you Pats.'

'I love you too Delia,' Patsy leaned in to kiss her again. 'You help me to strive to be the best version of myself. I wouldn't have gotten through the last ten minutes if it hadn't been for your love and support. Hell, I wouldn't have gotten through the last few weeks either.'

Delia didn't have anything else to say. Patsy had brought so many emotions to the surface with her reaction to Cynthia walking in. Silent tears fell as she reconnected their lips. Soon she moved so that she was straddling Patsy and pushed her down onto the bed. Patsy removed her t-shirt for the second time in ten minutes as Delia took hers off as well. Delia wanted to move fast but was still to wary of how Patsy would react. She wasn't aware that Patsy wanted her to move fast as well. Delia slowly unbuttoned Patsy's jeans but didn't begin to pull them down just yet.

'Can I?' Delia asked nervously. Patsy had never heard her sound so shy.

'Please,' Patsy responded breathlessly.

Delia began to slowly pull down Patsy's jeans while kissing her way up her neck. Eventually she reached Patsy's ear. 'You win. This is much better than Eastenders.'


End file.
